How To Love Yourself Even When You Want To Change Yourself

January is often referred to as fitness month. After all of the indulging during the holiday season and the pressure to change in the new year, a lot of people make new year’s resolutions or goals to get in better shape. 

Toning up and losing weight are not bad things, they are actually great things. When done properly and healthy weight loss can have huge positive effects on your life. But, what has happened to me in the past, and I know that I am not alone, is that until I reach my goal weight, I am unsatisfied with my self, and act as if I am not good enough. When I was growing up the trendy body was one that could fit into a double zero low rise jean, in other words, super skinny with no butt, no boobs, no muscle and no fat. That was “perfect” and was the goal for young women everywhere. In the past, I have bought into the narrative that unless I fit into that ridiculous definition of  “perfect”, I am not deserving of love, success, friendship etc. And this has lead me to be my own worse enemy, develop horrible habits and treat food like it is poison. 

Like a lot of people, I have a history of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and a horrible mentality around food. When I was a teenager I struggled with bulimia, and even though I “grew out” of that phase, a lot of that mentality and obsessiveness has stayed with me as an adult. In fact, it wasn’t until 2019 when I start to actually address my ideas around food and body images, that I understood that food wasn’t the enemy, but that it was actually the fuel I needed to help my body function. It also wasn’t until 2019, at the age of 26, that I was able to start to overcome body dysmorphia and actually be able at myself in the mirror and see what my body looks like. 

Because of the work, I did in 2019 and 2020 on my mindset around my body and food, I have finally come to a place where I can 100% say that I love and accept myself and my body no matter what. Yes, I gained weight, but I no longer see it as the end of the world or a factor in my worthiness. It simply is apart of life. In a way, I am grateful for the weight gain because it forced me to heal my wounds and create a healthier mindset around body and food.  

I do have goals to lose weight this year and I know I am going to reach them, but I refuse to hate my body as it is right now. Instead, I am going to love who I am throughout the whole process and have a healthy relationship with weight loss, food and body image. 

If you can relate to my journey here are some tips that can help you to love yourself even when you want to change yourself. They can also assist you with healing your body image, changing your food mindset and start to live a healthier lifestyle. 

How To Love Yourself While You Want To Change Your Body 

1. Get Comfortable With Your Body 

A great place to start with starting to love your body more is to get comfortable with it. Stop trying to hide your body from yourself and start embracing it slowly. A lot of times the only bodies we really see are the ones that are photoshopped in movies, or on Instagram, which can make us feel like our bodies aren’t good enough. But if we start to get more comfortable with our own bodies, it can help us to normalize different body types. One thing that has helped me get more comfortable with my body is to sleep naked. Sleeping naked is a great opportunity for you to get more comfortable with your body because it allows you to start and end every day looking at your body.

2. Fill Your Brain With More Positive Role Models 

If you find that every time you go on social media, watch TV, or talk to some friends and family members, you feel bad about your body, start adding more positive voices to your life. There are some amazing women on the internet who are creating positive body image content. Instagram accounts like @thebirdspapaya and @kenziebrenna, are great to follow. If you have friends and family members who make you feel uncomfortable, talk to them about minding their own business, and start surrounding yours with more loving and accepting people. 

3. Do The Things You Want Now 

Life doesn’t stop because you gained weight and it doesn’t all of a sudden start once you lose it. That is bull shit. While you are in the process of becoming healthier, don’t stop doing things that you love to do. If you want to travel, travel. If you want to go to a singles night, go to a singles night. If you want to cut your hair, cut your hair. Continue to live and love your life. 

4. Do A Thought Audit + Work Through Negative Body Image + Food Thoughts 

Take some time to observe the thoughts that you have about your body daily. If you find that you are constantly thinking super negative thoughts about your self, body or about food, you need to start working through them and replacing them with positive ones. For example, you might find that you are consumed with thoughts like: 

• If I eat those french fries I need to do 30 extra minutes for cardio 
• My legs look so fat in that photo 
• I can’t do anything right 
• If only I was thinner I would be happier 
• I NEED to lose weight before going to so and so’s wedding in the summer 

Having constant thoughts like these can be super harmful. Taking the time to address them, can help you to form more positive beliefs and start to love yourself more. You can work on these thoughts on your own, by journaling out the thoughts you have, taking the time to discover where they come from, and replacing each thought with a positive affirmation. Every time you think a negative thought, stop yourself mid-sentence and repeat your positive affirmation. 

5. Talk To A Therapist 

Therapy is amazing, and I highly recommend everyone go to therapy, it has helped me so much and if you are struggling it can help you too. But, if you have a history of eating disorders, body dysmorphia, poor mentality around food or you are having a hard time changing your negative thoughts to positive ones on your own, talking to a professional can be very helpful. Last year, I booked some sessions with my therapist and we talked about my history with body image and food and they were extremely helpful. 

6. Practice Self Love + Self Care Daily 

During any time in your life when you aren’t feeling super loving towards yourself add more self-love and self-care to your daily routine. Click here to read my Guide To Adding More Self Love And Self Care. These are simple activities that can really help you to fall in love with your amazing self. 

Tips For Healthy Weight Loss 

1. Work Out + Eat Healthy To Take Care Of Yourself 

One of the healthiest weight loss tips that I have ever found was to change your mindset on why you are working out. Instead of working out and eating healthy to lose weight, do it simply because it is good for your body and mind. I find that when you can make that shift, you can start to enjoy living healthier more and you take the pressure off yourself. 

2. Find What Works For You 

There are so many ways to lose weight. You could get into HIIT workouts, you could do power yoga, you could start walking more and maybe upgrade to running, you could try cross fit – there are endless workout options. There are also endless habits that you can incorporate into your healthy eating – intermittent fasting, eating 6 small meals a day, sticking to standard three meals etc. There are always going to be endless options, the important thing isn’t that you find the “best” one, it is that you find something that works for you. Do your research and try a few different things, but in the end, you need to create a healthy lifestyle that works for you and that you enjoy. Find a workout routine that you love doing. Create healthy recipes that you enjoy eating. This is your life so make sure you are enjoying it even when you are working on your goals. 

3. Remember That You Are Human 

This one is so important. No matter where you are at with your weight loss process, or how you currently feel about your body, please remember that you are only human. You are going to go through ups and downs, you are going to struggle at times, but you are also going to overcome. All you can do is try your best. You best might look different each day, but it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you are trying. 

4. Stay Consistent + Have Patience 

Nothing happens overnight, and quick weight loss solutions are unhealthy and don’t work. Have patience with yourself and the process and keep being consistent. 

I hope this blog post helps you to love yourself no matter where you are at. Please remember that you are beautiful and deserving of every happiness regardless of how you look on the outside. 

Sending you love and light,